I sat in the waiting room of the Infectious Disease doctor’s office with Emeline. Over the course of the last five weeks I have been to many doctors and surgeons with her, standing by her side through numerous tests. The most difficult appointment was watching her be sedated and then taken away. She looked dead and I sobbed! Most of the tests and doctor’s visits were urgent and unexpected so I would go alone. Anyone knowing me would think I almost preferred that because I’m such an independent woman, able to handle myself in most situations. Having a child with a questionable health issue was getting scary. I went through a time of great fear for the unknown. I was constantly running the “what ifs” through my head. I knew God was sovereign but what would the outcome of all this be? Whenever I’m at the hospital or going through tests with Emeline I’m anxious.
This day was different, I sat calm and at peace, my mind was clear. My husband was there with us that day. When we went in to see the doctor it wasn’t like Steve had these great words of wisdom but it was his presence, him standing beside me as a husband and father. I wasn’t in a panic that I would forget to ask the doctor a specific question or forget completely what he was staying. I didn’t fear bad news. I was confident Steve would manage whatever needed to be handled for that visit and we would take one more step toward finding out what was wrong with Emeline.
On our way home from the hospital I thanked Steve over and over again for coming with us. He couldn’t understand how important his presence was for me that day. It made me think of how God wants to be there for us, and give us that peace that passes all understanding. “The Lord will give strength to His people; the Lord will bless His people with peace”. Psalm 29:11. Wow! I pray that I can experience that strength and peace more in the midst of trials and uncertainty, sensing His presence, it’s a wonderful thing!!
Blessings,
Debbie
2 comments:
I read both of your last two blogs together. Package deal! They both toughed my heart and welled up tears in my throat. As a mother of 21, 19, and 17-yr-old boys, I am waaay at the other end of the mothering spectrum. I remember those days fondly, and admittedly, I probably enjoy each and every moment I have with my boys now more than I was able to do back then when mothering was all-consuming and occasionally hard to appreciate, but I tried to always find time to see the humor and memories in each situation, and I enjoy watching you do the same.
And your most recent one on God's presence is so incredibly powerful. It's all any of us should ever need, but we have such a hard time feeling that way at times. Thank you for reminding me.
Love you, Laur
Oops! That word in the second line of my comment should be touched! Your thoughts didn't make my heart tough, but touched it indeed. Goes to show why I should proofread my own writing!
Laurie
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