The Unknown

A few weeks ago I pulled into my driveway and a sheriff was waiting for me. All I could think of was Steve was dead. This officer who I never met before was here to tell me “I’m sorry Mrs. Summer, but there has been an accident, and your husband did not make it.” Anyone who has experienced this knows all of what rushes thorough your head in the few seconds from the time you connect with the scene until you find out what is really going on. The 30 seconds that passed between me seeing the car and pulling up behind him to find out why he was in my driveway aged me at least fifteen years. Although I remembered talking to Steve only an hour before, how could he have died so quickly? It was all I could think about. The unknown was horrible. Turns out the sheriff was there to serve Steve’s company papers, he was being sued. Nobody wants to be sued either but I was grateful for this being the reason. Steve’s company had moved within the last few years and the claim was prior to that so the county only had Steve’s home address to serve the papers. I was relieved! It reminded me of how often circumstances can change our lives forever.

I have a neighbor fighting for her life with cancer treatments. It takes my breath away when I think of all she is going through. I pray for her everyday many times. When I asked her husband what has been the most difficult part of this journey he answered “When we knew something was wrong but we didn’t know what it was.”

Today I have something wrong and I don’t know what it is. Last week my hands started to hurt me. I now have constant pain and have a difficult time doing things that were effortless my whole life. Doing laundry, cleaning, making dinner, writing blogs, playing tennis, twisting a bottle cap, etc. all cause pain. When I try to rest them I have pins and needles. As I sat in the doctor’s office yesterday I was hoping he would tell me I have carpal tunnel and with some treatment would get better. He did not tell me that. What he did tell me is he thinks it is most likely arthritis. Blood tests and x-rays will conclude the results within the next few days.


The unknown in life is scary. The internet can be a wonderful thing yet a curse! Googling my symptoms doesn’t make me feel any better. I think of how much worse this could be, but IT’S MY HANDS!! Will they start to become deformed? I have three young children that need a mother with full use of her hands!! God knows all this right?? Yes He does, I know He does.

In a devotional today I read how God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). Sometimes that is all we have to hang onto. Often we don’t know what the future holds but we know who holds the future. I believe that, He knows what I can handle and what I need. He has plans to give me a future and a hope. I will choose to trust that promise.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings,

Debbie