The New Norm

Growing up with a father who was a musician, he expected me to be one too. Sports was not an option. I was quite good at playing the clarinet but I hated to practice. I had the gift of sight reading, and so I went far in competitions with out practicing!

As an adult I must be making up for loss time. I love to watch football, soccer, basketball, and lacrosse but my favorite game to play is tennis. After becoming a mom I realized I needed something to serve as an outlet. I tried a mom’s group which included making crafts and quickly realized this was not for me! Nine years later I still love that little yellow ball. It’s my best therapy for stress relief!

Last June I was injured on the court with ligament damage in my foot. My doctor limited my activity but allowed me to play tennis once a week. I also pulled my IT band and groin! As if that wasn’t enough I have now been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my hands. I went through a week of feeling sorry for myself. How can I function without the use of my hands or being in pain with swelling all the time? How will I write?? Play tennis? Do the dishes, clean the house??

I now have a choice how to live my life. At first I was sure the doctor would tell me to stop doing my activities. No more spin class, NO MORE TENNIS!! That was not what the doctor said at all, in fact he said “DO NOT STOP PLAYING TENNIS!” I knew I liked that guy!! Yes, even with arthritis continual activity is good!

My new norm is not fun, I wish I didn’t have pain, but I do. Now I get to choose how I will live with this. I can complain most days or I can learn how to manage my pain. Only through prayer will I become an o.k. new me. It certainly could be worse. I choose to trust that God will give me the strength when I need it and the wisdom to know when to rest my hands.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings,

Debbie

The Unknown

A few weeks ago I pulled into my driveway and a sheriff was waiting for me. All I could think of was Steve was dead. This officer who I never met before was here to tell me “I’m sorry Mrs. Summer, but there has been an accident, and your husband did not make it.” Anyone who has experienced this knows all of what rushes thorough your head in the few seconds from the time you connect with the scene until you find out what is really going on. The 30 seconds that passed between me seeing the car and pulling up behind him to find out why he was in my driveway aged me at least fifteen years. Although I remembered talking to Steve only an hour before, how could he have died so quickly? It was all I could think about. The unknown was horrible. Turns out the sheriff was there to serve Steve’s company papers, he was being sued. Nobody wants to be sued either but I was grateful for this being the reason. Steve’s company had moved within the last few years and the claim was prior to that so the county only had Steve’s home address to serve the papers. I was relieved! It reminded me of how often circumstances can change our lives forever.

I have a neighbor fighting for her life with cancer treatments. It takes my breath away when I think of all she is going through. I pray for her everyday many times. When I asked her husband what has been the most difficult part of this journey he answered “When we knew something was wrong but we didn’t know what it was.”

Today I have something wrong and I don’t know what it is. Last week my hands started to hurt me. I now have constant pain and have a difficult time doing things that were effortless my whole life. Doing laundry, cleaning, making dinner, writing blogs, playing tennis, twisting a bottle cap, etc. all cause pain. When I try to rest them I have pins and needles. As I sat in the doctor’s office yesterday I was hoping he would tell me I have carpal tunnel and with some treatment would get better. He did not tell me that. What he did tell me is he thinks it is most likely arthritis. Blood tests and x-rays will conclude the results within the next few days.


The unknown in life is scary. The internet can be a wonderful thing yet a curse! Googling my symptoms doesn’t make me feel any better. I think of how much worse this could be, but IT’S MY HANDS!! Will they start to become deformed? I have three young children that need a mother with full use of her hands!! God knows all this right?? Yes He does, I know He does.

In a devotional today I read how God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrews 13:8). Sometimes that is all we have to hang onto. Often we don’t know what the future holds but we know who holds the future. I believe that, He knows what I can handle and what I need. He has plans to give me a future and a hope. I will choose to trust that promise.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings,

Debbie

A Gas Of A Party!

Steve and I have wanted to get to know our kid’s friends parents better. Attending a private school spreads these kids all over the greater Philadelphia area for many miles. One of Emeline’s best friends lives forty five minutes away. Recently Zachary wanted a play date and I said “Ask Johnny if he can just sleep over.” There is no such thing as a two hour play date for our kids.

Attending fun, memorable chili cook-offs for several years at my girlfriend Bridget’s house (who moved away), has left me feeling like I needed to pick up the torch at some point and run with it. Wanting to get some familiar and unfamiliar faces mingling and a chili cook-off seemed like a very good fit.

With three "cook-off" hostess coaches, two on the west coast (one being Bridget), and one on the east coast, plus numerous class lists I mailed the invitations. My mistake was I didn’t make a master list of who I invited! Although many RSVP’d, some did not. I had no idea how many guests I was really having!! When most asked I would give a ballpark number, acting like everything was under control. Only close friends knew I was clueless!!

With seventeen chilis strong things turned out just fine, the night was a success. Steve and I were thrilled so many showed up, crock pots in tow with a competitive look in their eye! The entries were judged for the spiciest, most unusual, and best overall taste. Prizes were awarded accordingly.

With the busy day we had getting ready for the party, my only prayer was that everyone would feel welcome in our home and enjoy their time, catching up with existing friendships and meeting some new people. As I looked around our many rooms filled with chatting guests and laughter, it was apparent my prayers were answered.

Thank you Bari Jo, Nancy, and Bridget!

A special thanks to my friend Ericka who encouraged me to take this step offering to be of help and help she did (Ken too!). Thanks to her little nudge, Lord willing, we will have a second Summer Annual Chili Cook-Off next March 2010!!

Blessings,

Debbie

A weekend with Mrs. "T"

Going to a Women’s Retreat is not typically someting I'm dying to do. Honestly if I was given a chance to go spend a weekend with a girlfriend or go to a retreat with a large group I would choose the one on one fellowship. Don’t get me wrong, I think retreats are great but I often come home from them exhausted.

It’s been six years since I have attended a retreat. My girlfriend Laurie invited me to go with her church. With money being tight and not loving retreats I was hesitant and said no. My good friend pushed a bit until I said yes. The only reason I wanted to go was to spend time with her and another friend.

As the time came close for us to leave last Friday I could have been easily talked out of going away. Besides having three young children I have many balls I am juggling, and I was feeling overwhelmed to walk away from it all for two days. Out of devotion to my friend I gladly went.

Laurie and I met playing tennis nine years ago. Upon the birth of my second child Sam, at two weeks old he contracted the RSV virus that made him critically sick. Laurie reached out to me and it was then we realized we both have a love for Jesus. Over the last eight years Laurie has become a dear friend. I am privileged to have her in my life sharing the ups and downs of our journey. I have watched her be a mom of three amazing boys. Many times God has used her to encourage my heart and help me laugh at my crazy boys!! She is a wise woman (and really smart too!) who I can sit and listen to for hours. She knows I’m one of her biggest fans! Laurie shines with a steadfast, real, unwavering faith in her God.

The retreat was a blessing. The singing, speaking, testimonies, line dances, and skits, all made up the spiritual nourishment I needed. As for my time with Laurie, as usual the time was sweet. She does most of the talking and I listen (I prefer that). She doesn’t realize how much I learn from her each time we are together. God has spoken to me often through my friend Laurie. My life is richer for knowing her

“Iron sharpens iron: so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend”. Proverbs 27:17.

Thank you for being my friend Mrs. “T”, and for sharing the weekend with me!

Blessings,

Debbie

Utterly Chaotic Yet Fun Snow Day!

An unexpected snow day in March!! Three days ago we learned a “Nor’easter” was coming up the coast promising heavy snow!

Having the kids home for a snow day use to be quiet and confining. Not anymore, the phone calls started immediately orchestrating snow dates. By the time I listened to my voicemail we had already missed one sledding date!

My morning was consumed with trying to navigate my parents safely home from Atlanta, as well as manage lots of kids! Mom and Dad had been stuck for two days trying to get home from a cruise. With a series of mis-haps, it started to seem like they would never come home!! They were bumped off numerous flights and others were cancelled. With yet another delay yesterday afternoon I called the airline and told them I have two elderly parents (I didn’t mention how in shape and “young” my mother was for 73) who both take medication that they no longer have who need to come home. I stressed they could no longer be put on stand by, they needed to be on the next flight out. Meanwhile my mother was told they were # 37 on stand by for a full flight. “Sure, no problem, I can get them both on the flight.” REALLY? I couldn’t believe my ears, someone actually willing to help and had the authority to override the system! Praise God, they ran to gate C-3 who quickly redirected them to gate C-24 and up up and away they went!

As any mom can imagine, my time on the phone did not go smoothly having all the kids home. At one point I had two people on two separate phone lines while Sam came in screaming, the dog knocked my neighbor down and “she’s really hurt”! As I have the two ladies (my mom and airline rep) on the phone I was screaming at the top of my lungs for the dog to get off the neighbor and come inside (the dog never listens to me)! Then shortly after that (while I’m still on the phone) another child came in screaming the dog ate his snow goggles! This went on and on!

Finally as my parents were in the air on their way home Steve walked in! Owning a Snow Management company means we NEVER see Steve if it is snowing, in fact we don’t see him days before or after a storm.

Although the kids had already been out numerous times sledding, snow-blowing the drive (I wish I had a picture of the job they did), having snow ball fights, and building snow men we all decided to go sledding. We headed out to our favorite very large sledding hill. It was so much fun to see the hundreds of kids and parents having a ball. What is it about snow, a sled, and a hill? It brings out the kid in all of us. Steve and I went down the hill so fast I thought we would kill ourselves and others!

After our fun day was over, we said good-bye to Steve, went to McDonald’s for take out, and headed down to the airport to meet my parents. Although they had their own car I wanted to escort them safely home. Trying to make life easier for them we picked up their dog on the way to the airport who proceeded to throw up all over my car! UGH!! As I tried to clean it, the temperature was so cold the throw up was freezing faster then I could clean it up! YUCK!!!

We returned home very late last night, but what a day we had. Sledding was the best, and even better with our special visitor for the event, STEVE!!!

Today, after all homework and chores are done we plan to have at that sledding hill again!!

Blessings,

Debbie